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Friday, July 18, 2008

To Hose or Not to Hose

I've recently stopped wearing pantyhose to work. There are so many good reasons to avoid pantyhose (e.g., the discomfort, the potty-related inconvenience, the near-certain destruction before a big meeting) that it's strange that more people don't forgo them all together. Or maybe they do. Maybe I'm behind the times.

It may be a Southern thing--ladies do not go out in skirts with their legs bare. Certainly, they don't go to the office with bare legs. Heavens! There's also the girdle question, which to me settles itself as soon as you ask me to purchase something called "girdle." (See previous entry on "Crunk") My Granny would never go out in a skirt if she weren't wearing a girdle. Sometimes I consider it, but then I remember that being free and easy is preferable.

So, to settle the question once and for all, my pros and cons of pantyhose:

  • Smooths out curves when wearing pencil skirts
  • Makes leg skin appear smooth and flawless and, just as importantly, not the color of skim milk
  • Not necessary to shave legs on a regular basis (wait, what?)
  • Makes wearing of shorter skirts to the office less of a faux pas (this really applies more to tights, but it makes sense in this list as well)


  • Considering I usually only get one wearing out of them before I put a thumb through the calf, this is an expensive proposition
  • Delays emergency potty breaks by crucial seconds (no need to mention that I could just go to the bathroom when I first feel the urge)
  • Allows me to be extra lazy on the leg shaving front
  • Difficult to find a perfect fit and too small pantyhose are the worst

That's enough of this list, I think. Today I am wearing a blue skirt that is a rather full cut, some conservative looking pumps, and no hose. Also, I took a chunk of my heel out when I was shaving this morning and it looks like I was in a slasher movie. The band-aid is barely covering the carnage.

Oh, right, I was going to settle the pantyhose question. I think the real answer for me lies in not having a position one way or the other. When I'm wearing a skirt that I feel adequately conceals all that needs to be concealed, I don't mind skipping the hose. When I have an important meeting or my legs will not just be hanging out under my desk all day, I'll probably end up wearing pantyhose. Ditto for if I feel my outfit might not be dressy enough for work--pantyhose and "conservative pumps" make everything a little classier. Oh! Class! That should have been on the Pro list.

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