Let me tell you about my day.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Best Thing I've Seen All Week.

Yesterday, in front of a Catholic bookstore in downtown DC--

A homeless man stands on the sidewalk, his satchel spewing still protectively-wrapped Bob Dylan CDs. A store employee stands in the doorway of the store, asking the man what he wants and receiving no answer. The homeless man screams seemingly random lyrics from "Like a Rolling Stone." The store employee seems baffled that there is no theological debate in the works and begins to threaten the homeless man with a phone call to the police.

--I wish I could have stayed to watch.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Things I Actually Say.

"I can't decide if they're school marm-y, in a bad way."

Of Course It Deserves 5 Stars!

Recently, I signed up for Netflix. My darling, my brother Bubbles, and several of my friends also have Netflix. They all share their queues so they can see what the others are renting and how they've rated different movies. I just don't think this is for me.

Part of the reason I wanted Netflix over just renting movies from Blockbuster is the sheer anonymity of it. I can rent whatever I would like, as many times as I like, without the usual fear that someone will see me renting Hook for the 13th time (I own it now, thank you). Or, that the guy at the desk will roll his eyes when I ask if they have The Virgin Suicides. True story.

Moreover, I don't want to have to pretend to like things I really hate. I mean, in general, I don't do this. I hated The Constant Gardener. In spite of wanting all people to be treated with the utmost care and respect and never to fall prey to corporations trying to save a buck, I found it too preachy. And that's coming from me, a preacher extraordinaire.

The bottom line is that I don't want to have to answer to anyone as to why I gave Being John Malkovich 2 stars and Mean Girls 5 stars. Lay off me.

Or, as my Darlin' says, "yeah, that's why you end up renting Kurosawa when you really want to rent Shrek 3."

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

How Much I Love Sublime Stitching.

I almost bought the whole site today. I was just going to call up the girl in charge and say, "put it on my Visa." But I didn't. Because, you see, I bought the Stitch-It Kit when I was still working at Borders. And then I bought Sublime Stitching right before I left Borders. So, I still have about 3 miles of embroidery floss and eleventy billion patterns to use.

I think, now that I have spent a good chunk of change on little odds and ends from jcaroline, that I will devote myself to using up all that I have at home. Then, once everything has been glued, stitched, cut, wrapped, and finished, I will look around in pride and decide that now, NOW, now is the time to buy more things.

The last thing I will buy before I call it quits, though, is a small amount of adorable fabrics to make into magnets, buttons, and pillows -- all to be likewise embroidered.

Fabric from Japan, and Being Poor.

Until recently, I had never heard of Etsy, never dreamed of importing my own fabric from Japan, and never considered decorating my home in things that didn't come from Pier 1.

But lately. Lately, I have seen the light! I can't stop searching "vintage buttons" on Etsy. What am I going to do with these buttons?! Even if I actually purchase them, which I haven't done yet, I have no plans for them. I would just keep them in a little box on my nightstand and gaze lovingly at them every night.

Which brings me to the crux of the problem--it's not a fear of buyer's remorse keeping me from buying every beautiful vintage button that crosses my path. It's a fear of not being able to pay my cell phone bill (ahem, again) because I have spent all of my money on frivolity. I have such brilliant plans to decorate in adorable kitsch-y fabrics from Japan and works by independent, starving artists peddling their wares on Etsy. All I need is a raise, right?

Friday, January 11, 2008

Now Less Vile!

As part of my quest to save money, I've taken to having snacks strategically located in my office. (This relates to money because I'm less likely to go out and buy a snack if there's something within reach.) It's also handy and good for my productivity (!) if I don't spend the whole morning contemplating gnawing my arm off at the elbow for a light snack.

While at Trader Joe's I came across their enormous selection of Luna bars. Kill two birds, right? I'll have easily storable snack foods on hand and also get some nutrition that I miss when I eat popcorn for 6 meals straight. The only problem is they're kind of gross. Did I say kind of? I meant really, really, REALLY gross. I can barely choke them down most of the time. But, you know--they're there and they keep me from feeling that hungry-nauseated feeling I have become so familiar with. Today, however, I ate the blueberry yogurt bar. It didn't make me dry heave. That's a step in the right direction.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Movin' On Up

Recently, I rented an absolutely adorable apartment in an old house in Virginia. The neighborhood is adorable, the house is adorable, the apartment is adorable. Some day, there will be pictures.

But not now, no, definitely not. Because it's a disaster. I moved from a 1-bedroom apartment in Ann Arbor to a 4-bedroom house, then briefly lived with my Darlin', then to my Paran's house, then, finally, to a 1-bedroom apartment in Ol' Virginny.

Living by yourself is amazing.

Having boxes stacked on boxes, stacked on the coffee table, which is on top of some flattened boxes? Not amazing. The point of the moving narrative is that I have moved several times in the past few years and several more times before that. And I am still in possession of things that I should have thrown away before I moved from Louisiana to Michigan.

Hence the disaster. I only hope to get everything squared away before my sister comes to visit. In less than 2 weeks. Right.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Babies Will Listen to Anything

Recently I heard a piece on NPR about the new baby-friendly music that would be coming out this year (or that had come out last year). The host of the radio show was saying something along the lines of, "I know many parents are wondering if any good lullabies will be released this year." And I thought, "Really? Where are these parents and why hasn't anyone clubbed them in the head yet?"

Truth be told, there are obviously some things that keep your baby, toddler, pre-schooler quiet for longer periods of time. I've spent a lot of time kids under the age of 4 and I know they respond pretty well to songs that are meant to start singalongs. But that doesn't mean that you can't just listen to the radio. They like that, too.

Case in point: my adorable cousin Lizard (real name withheld) used to sing along with the Paula Cole song, "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" She didn't know all of the words, just the, "yip-i-yi, yip-i-yay" part, which she sang over and over again. She loved it, it was adorable, and not once did we have to resort to the Wiggles. She also sang a strangely word-free version of "Isn't It Ironic?" but she has been forgiven for that.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Seemingly random Capitalization

Have you ever noticed that certain words in some documents Are capitalized, as though to Emphasize their Importance? It makes me Wonder:

1. Are the proofreaders German? From what little I know about the German language, I believe that all Nouns are capitalized.

2. Are these words more important than the other words in the sentence? And, if so, is there a hierarchy of importance? Like, step 1. Capitalization - more important than lowercase words; step 2. Italics - more important than words that are merely capitalized; step 3. Bold - more important than italicized words, less important than underlined words.

Methinks it is the latter--people don't really know how to make things stand out in their writing and they're unsure of themselves. Like they're thinking, "I feel that this word is important, but what if it's not? Maybe I should just capitalize it, rather than putting it in italics, in case it's not important."

Case in point: I was reading a report today that was filled with words that were capitalized though they were not parts of titles or proper nouns. E.g., "Administration" Maybe it's just longer words that need to be capitalized. Those are the important ones.

Happy New Year

Ringing in the new year was rather uneventful. Honestly, I was ready for bed at 9:15. This was even after I took a nap after work. But I stuck it out in honor of my darling, who--truth be told--is a much more successful partier than I am (in spite of his advanced age). We toasted with free champagne at a bar that is literally less than 100 yards from my front door with many drunken revellers who were probably just barely this side of 21.

Yesterday, I discovered that I live remarkably close to yet another shopping center. I was already pleased with living so close to a Target within a strip mall, but the one I found yesterday has a DSW! And a World Market! And an ice skating rink! Oh, the consumerism!

Yes, I am susceptible to marketing gimmicks.

Speaking of - we went to see Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story. I would not recommend it to people who do not enjoy low-brow humor. There were several points in the movie where I couldn't believe I had paid money to see it. That being said, I laughed A LOT. I enjoyed it in spite of wanting to feel too mature and sophisticated for such foolishness. There was a penis on the screen--a completely unnecessary penis--for at least a minute. And yet, there I was, laughing with the rest of the teenagers.

Before the movie began, there was a preview for Scary Movie 24, or whatever it's called. These movies are all essentially the same. I have yet to find anything funny in any of the previews and I can only assume that the producers are showing some of the funniest parts there to lure you in. Who watches these movies? I'm ashamed to live in a country that produces such crap. If you have seen and enjoyed these movies, I think I should make a recommendation. Watch Idiocracy. Do you see a parallel between that movie and the present state of society? If not, then you represent everything that is wrong with America. You're the reason the terrorists are winning.