Friendship

Do you have a friend who lets you be the craziest possible person you could be? I mean someone who lets you explore possible reactions to things that happen in your day, without being judgmental or saying, "no, your wedding day is not the time to call your ex-boyfriend?" You need one. I have one.

I think of this as a kind of therapy--one time, at a "leadership training," we did a peer-to-peer coaching exercise. Yes, we did. At one point, while my coachee was describing what seemed to be an insurmountable problem for someone in our position, I asked her, "what's the craziest thing you can think of to do?" And she described something that was both crazy and completely uncrazy. In the end, our conclusion was that she'd do something based on her crazy idea, but minus a smidgen of crazy. The exercise was strangely and unexpectedly productive.

There's value in this: allowing yourself to explore the crazy, and then scaling it back to where you get to go with your gut while not leaving your mind out of it entirely.

In the context I'm thinking of: I got the brush-off from a guy I wasn't entirely convinced I was interested in. And, I got it via text message. It was completely unexpected, especially considering the mild way in which I had shown interest. After I got the text, I spent 45 minutes with my friend thinking of completely unreasonable responses--wedding dress-clad workplace drop-by? property destruction? lawsuit? In the end, I decided to just let it go, but it was so much more enjoyable to explore the possibility of hopping on the crazy train carrying all my luggage, and heading down the track at full speed.

Which, I suppose, makes me a woman.

Dieting, I guess

So, some celebrity fitness person (I think it's Jillian Michaels, although I'm not doing any research to verify her name) has made the point that it's not enough to just park far away from the grocery store and take the stairs occasionally if you want to be fit. You have to work for it, and you should work for it, because healthiness and fitness are important. OK. Point taken. I don't actually do either of those things, nor do I really do anything else. I recently (actually, it might have been a year ago) worked briefly with a trainer, and she said that I should worry more about my diet than about exercising, because I won't get fit (or skinny) just by working out. OK. Point taken.

For me, though, I need to do the small stuff, and I need to be given some "good enough" points. The header says it all--yes, I know salsa doesn't actually count as a vegetable. However, I will put salsa (containing tomatoes and onions and peppers) on my scrambled eggs, when I won't bother to cut up vegetables and add them to my scrambled eggs. And I'll use my thighmaster while I'm sitting at my desk (stop laughing), when I won't go to the gym.

The small steps are important for me. I have to start somewhere, and I have to do what I can, because the alternative is what I've been doing for the last year, which is nothing. This applies in so many places to my life, though! I will do one load of laundry, even though it's not enough, because it's better than nothing. I will get three things done at work, even though it's not enough, because the alternative is to play around on Pinterest all day.

Also, salsa is delicious.

Amazonian Review Power

I pretty much know I should never read the reviews or comments for anything, particularly something I care about. I remember how, after Hurricane Katrina had wiped out my home and sent my family reeling, I would see comments on news articles about how people had to stop complaining about it, or "they should know better," or, worst of all, that somehow poor people, families, and fishermen (who experienced the worst of it), "deserved it." [Actually, that's probably a good place for an aside--when some people heard that New Orleans was being destroyed by an act of God, they assumed the modern-day Sodom was being smote. In fact, the kind of debauchery that warrants the title "modern-day Sodom" is fairly limited, geographically, and that part of the city remained relatively unscathed. The suburbs (hot beds of sin!), lower income neighborhoods, and small towns supported by fishing industries suffered substantial damage.]

I also can't listen to radio call-in shows. I used to wake up to some kind of C-SPAN call-in show, during the 2008 election, and it made me want to tear the alarm clock to pieces--not a good feeling, especially when it's something you kind of hate anyway.

I know there's no shortage of opinions when it comes to people being hateful while hiding behind anonymity, but this is actually something else:

I frequently read Amazon product reviews. I figure it's part of my consumer due diligence for shopping online. I generally don't read them for books, because of the aforementioned hatefulness. I wanted to get some feedback on one book I had heard was "controversial," and I was pleasantly shocked by the thoughtfulness and thoroughness of the reviewers. It read more like genuine literary criticism (my least favorite class in college) than the rantings of crazy idiots. Anyway, in case you're curious--the reviews of Rob Bell's Love Wins are worth skimming.

WTF, Comcast?

Today, I spoke with Comcast. I actually started talking to Comcast on Saturday, when the rep on the other end of the line said, “I’m going to run some diagnostic tests.” And then said the modem was “depleted” (may contain uranium?) and needed to be replaced.

When can he schedule an appointment for a technician to come to my house during working hours to look at it? Um, never. OK, when can I go to a service center during working hours to drop it off? Um, never. I work during working hours. Can you mail me a new one? You have to call back during working hours. Fine.

Yesterday, I called and talked to someone who said they could mail me one. It should arrive on Thursday. Sorry for the inconvenience. Fine.

Then I got a barely intelligible voicemail saying I needed to talk to sales if I wanted a new modem, but no mention of how one gets in touch with sales. Fine.

So I called back today and was told they needed to run some diagnostic tests before they could mail me a new modem. Am I near my modem? NO. LIKE I TOLD THE OTHER COMCAST REPS, I AM NOT ABLE TO HANG OUT WITH MY MODEM DURING WORKING HOURS, WHICH IS APPARENTLY THE ONLY TIME ANYONE WILL TALK TO ME ABOUT GETTING A NEW MODEM. Please hold for a supervisor.

15 minutes elapse. New rep answers the phone: how may I assist you today? Uh, I’m waiting to speak to a customer service supervisor. New rep works in billing. Doesn't know how I ended up in her call queue. Please hold while she tries to get someone in customer service on the line.

10 minutes elapse. New rep answers the phone: how may I assist you today? Through clenched teeth, I explain that I just need someone to ship me a new modem, and I will gladly mail the old one back. OK, it may be 3 – 5 business days for me to receive it. She can overnight it, but it will cost me $30. Can’t you waive the fee? Sure, she can do that.

So, hopefully it’s done? Perhaps a mere 5 days later, I will have internet service again? I have to imagine that this is the plight of all people who are dependent on a single company to provide a service they consider necessary. Cox doesn't serve my side of the street, apparently, and Verizon needs phone lines? Or cables? Or something?

Hey Y'all

So, hey.

I'm back, after one heck of a hiatus. In truth, I didn't intend to stop blogging, I just got caught up in a vicious cycle of not having anything to say, then having something to say but not being near a computer, then doubting the merits of that thing once I was back online. Not particularly exciting.

I just returned home after a long trip to visit my family for the holidays. Going home makes it emotionally harder to live far away, but I'm honestly exhausted and excited for a return to my work-work-sleep routine.

My new year's resolution--after I failed miserably at my one and only resolution for 2010--is to be more environmentally conscious. Not to be a perfect Eco Ellie, but to actually make an effort to bring old newspapers to the recycling bin instead of throwing them in the trash. To use my reusable shopping bags, a la Swistle. To throw my empty cans in the right bins. I already do these things, to some extent, but I want to get better about it.

On my frequent walks to the Metro, I often see the huge trains of trash cars chugging along. That is a lot of trash. I should make the effort to lessen my contribution to that.

Also, I won't call this a resolution, but I have gotten out of the practice of cooking for myself and packing lunches and I want to get back on the ball with that, as it's good for me for a number of reasons, including my finances and my health.

Among the Best Things Ever.

Going to McDonald's, mid-afternoon, to get a chocolate-banana milkshake and an order of fries.

Waking up to the classical music radio DJ expounding exuberantly on the piece he's about to play.

The end of a long streak of very important, very stressful, and very time consuming meetings.

Those are the things that have made my day today.

A Kinder, Gentler Black Panther

The other day I saw a guy walking down the street in a Black Panther beret. A homeless man raised his fist in a Black Panther salute and shouted, "Hey, Panther!" and the Panther turned and waved and smiled quite cheerily. It was a very nice interaction between strangers. Maybe this is the new, less-militant M.O. of the Black Panthers?

In college, I once gave a presentation on historic events in the civil rights movement, including the attempted assassination of James Meredith. The source I was using just said, "he was shot in the head." This, to me, meant death. Naturally, I did no further research because, like I said, I was in college and checking to make sure my report subjects actually died is too rigorous for me. Yeah, I don't remember that going over well.

These two things are related because of (a) civil rights and (b) my concern that my report on the Black Panther walking down the street would make it seem like I didn't understand the Black Panther movement. I am here to assure you that I have done no research.

Let's Split the Bill

For someone who spends a lot of money, I think I might actually be cheap. I loathe going to big group dinners at restaurants, because I hate when everyone throws into the pot with little regard for what they ordered. What I don't understand and never understand is how people so grossly miscalculate what they owe. And this seems to happen just about every time I go out with a group. At some point, someone will say, "OK, everybody throw in another dollar." No. No, I will do no such thing. Why this bothers me is because I tend to order according to what I feel comfortable spending on that meal. It really irks me when I'm expected to pay more than my share because someone else isn't giving what they should.

Last night I went to dinner with a group (it worked out fine, I'm just using this as an example), and I ordered a $4 appetizer and a $12.75 entree. I drank water. I put in $20. I worked it out thus: $16.75 for food, plus 10% tax (a gross overestimate) would be about $18.50. I throw in another $1.50 to account for a margin of error in my calculation. The tip gets added in later. I always work in pretty much the same way--over-contributing slightly so there's no squeeze. Why don't other people do this? I really don't like splitting bills. Yep, I'm definitely cheap. I'd rather eat alone than have to pay an extra $12 for my meal for wine that I didn't drink.

Bag Lunch

Yesterday and today I have packed a bag lunch for myself! Woooooo! I'm hoping I can get into the habit of doing this so that I can save money and overeat less frequently. Even if I splurge slightly--good turkey from the deli, rolls instead of sliced bread--I still end up saving myself a good bit of money. And, on nasty, rainy days like today, it's pretty nice to not have to go out and find something to eat. I can instead sit in my office with the door closed and my shoes off and eat my little turkey sandwich.

Clean House

So, Operation: Keep the Dang Dining Room Table Clean is going quite well. I've even managed to extend some of the neatness to the living room and my bedroom! Maybe I can take some pictures soon! It will be pretty magical if I manage to get everything in my apartment clean at once because I don't think it has ever happened.

I was actually inspired by my brother and sister-in-law's place when I went to visit them. Somehow, they have a very tidy, well-cared-for apartment that feels welcoming and friendly. I think they're just consistent with it, and that's how it works out for them. But, I know my brother--he is a slob. He is also a hoarder. We are cut from the same cloth. So, I figure if he can do it, then I can do it.

I just want to get to the point where people stopping by unexpectedly is a pleasant surprise, and not grounds for panic. I think I'm getting there.

Heyguesswhatijustdid

So, my alumni association gave us all "thirstystone" coasters before graduation. I keep mine on my desk (1) to remind myself that I did manage to graduate from law school and (2) because it's a single coaster. What am I going to do, keep it on my coffee table and make people share?

Anyway, I guess the desk plan is what they had in mind. I put my bowls of hot oatmeal on it (see previous post on fiber intake) and my coffee. And let's just say that it's developed something of a patina. I googled "how to clean thirstystone coasters," and thirstystone told me to clean it with cold water and "a few drops of mild detergent." So, naturally, I soaped the shit out of it. And now! It's practically good as new! It has returned to its original creamy color!

Have we ever discussed my overuse of cleansers? It's something of a problem. I think it's probably responsible for the rapid build up of soap scum in my shower, because a quarter-sized amount of shower gel on my bath pouf translates to a baseball-sized amount in my mind. Also, the counter top spray--I need about 12 paper towels to get it all up and get my counter top dry again. And the dish soap? I go through it like it's the water I'm also using the wash the dishes. That was a good analogy.

Bye!

One Day I'll Breathe through my Nose Again!

So, yesterday I stayed home from work. I left work on Monday sneezing my head off and desperate to get into bed and slip into a Benadryl coma. So, I did. I slept for a couple of hours, which was apparently the worst idea I've ever had, because then I woke up ready to face another day! At 7 p.m. So, yeah, I was still awake at 3 a.m., which made waking up the next morning even more miserable than it would have been if I were just still congested, sneezy, and sinus pressure-y.

So, right! I stayed home! I did a whole bunch of laundry, which made me feel good about taking advantage of my convalescence to get something worthwhile done. And I made creamed spinach. It came out OK. I think I got a little carried away with the "creamed" aspect of it. Oh, and I did some dishes!

And I watched a documentary on meth, "The Witches of Eastwick," and "The Ugly Truth." Those are some of the things I had on my Netflix-on-Demand queue. Is it weird that I feel like I've accomplished something when I can delete something off of my queue? All three of them get three stars.

Tonight I am going to a craft workshop, and then hopefully to bed before 10, because I'm still feeling kind of under the weather and I'd like to get some sleep before I go home this weekend.

Yes! Home! I can't wait. I'm excited because the weekend is pretty much wide open, except for on Easter Sunday, when we have family plans. Word.

Super Fiber Intake!

So, because I tend to make whole meals out of pita chips, I'm trying to pay attention to what goes into my body otherwise. Basically, I've cut a deal with myself, whereby I get to have one meal per day made entirely of pita chips/microwave popcorn/buttered spaghetti, but everything else has to have some value.

I find that the easiest thing for me is getting enough fiber. Maybe it's that you can find fiber in things that are otherwise only mediocre-ly healthy, and I certainly eat plenty of those.

Anyway, I make instant oatmeal at work every morning. Good fiber! I also drink coffee (someone will have to tell me if this is actually a valid source of fiber). Also, I went to CVS today and they had "dried plums" on sale: 2 resealable containers for $5. Excellent fiber!

[I would be interested in a study comparing sales of "dried plums" to sales of prunes, and how the change in labeling affected the demographic of people buying them.]

So, I think that pretty much clears the rest of the day for eating hard boiled eggs.

To-do list for this evening:
- Stop sneezing FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST STOP SNEEZING (this duty belongs to Benadryl)
- Eat at least one of the vegetables I got from Costco
- Depending on whether Benadryl works its magic, make banana bread
- Finish folding laundry in living room and put away
- STREEEEEEEEEEEEETCH goal: bring Snuggie and bedspread to laundromat, wash and dry and put into space bag to store under bed.

I'll be sure to report back on how many of these things get accomplished.

Work accomplishment of the day: flow chart created in PowerPoint

Boo. Boo, I say.

Guess who owes the IRS $1,000. Me. That's who. Me. $1,000. ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS.

It's all because of my second job at Retail Store and the measly withholding going on over there. Ugh. I am so upset because I was going to pay off my big credit card next month and it was like this huge weight that was going to be gone. And now, it'll probably be July before I make the last payment. Now that I have to pay ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS to the government.

It's not all Federal, true, but I would pay Virginia $300 and complain only minimally (I suspected I might owe some taxes this year). But this is a huge amount of money for me! I don't make $1k in two months at Retail Store! So sad.

Anyway, I have a lot to do in the next few days, even aside from all of the fretting I have penciled in on my schedule, so I'd better hop to it.

Art

i there! Oh, yes, the weekend to-do list. Wellllllllll...I did manage to cross off "arts & crafts"! I have started carving stamps. I'm going to try to remember to take some pictures so you can see them. I've been finding good line drawings (embroidery patterns make excellent stamp templates) and tracing them onto the stamp-carving medium. It's working out pretty well.

Otherwise, I don't have much to report.

I was at my book club meeting last night and, as we are nearing the end of this book, someone suggested another one. Then I suggested a book for after that one, and she looked really offended. It was kind of weird, like maybe she thought I was trying to bash her idea? I'm not sure what was going on there. I feel like maybe there was some other weirdness because she sent me a facebook invitation to an event that I probably won't make it to, but I haven't RSVP'd yet because I was waiting to see what my schedule looked like.

Does this happen to other people? I know I'm extraordinarily bad at maintaining social graces--I don't think I've ever promptly returned a phone call in my life--but maybe other people do this as well? I don't think I'm alone, because my sister didn't even put RSVP information on her wedding invitations, knowing that no one was going to RSVP. That's just the way things work in New Orleans. Yeah! It's New Orleans' fault that I am socially ungraceful!

She's No Bob Woodward

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, she looks like an investigative journalist. Most hard-hitting journalists I know wear halter tops to do live TV reporting.

Update on the dining room table: it is clear! I have placemats on it now!! I actually cleared everything off of it and put that stuff away, then wiped the table down. I was able to put out some placemats I've been storing in the closet for a few months! Hooray!

Update on the back pain: I took a bunch of stuff out of my purse yesterday to lighten the load, and spent the evening cleaning and straightening rather than sitting in my favorite chair. I took some ibuprofen right before bed (which I had been doing, with no result) and I had a peaceful night. I did sleep poorly, but at least it wasn't because of back pain.

I think I need to revamp my bedroom and gear it towards restfulness. Step one could be cleaning my room so that there's no clutter, and I can look around me before bed and see tidiness and calm. Step two could be to move the cable modem and router to under my bed so there are no intermittently flashing lights in my room. Step three is probably to find a louder fan to block out some of the worse noise coming from my upstairs neighbors. OK, those all seem like good things to work on this weekend.

I made a to-do list yesterday on the metro ride home and managed to cross off several things, so I'm feeling pretty good about continuing with the to-do list thing. Some items for this weekend:

• Complete at least three loads of laundry (that means washing, drying, folding/hanging up, and putting away)
• Revamping my sleep space
• Arts & Crafts

Whoops! How'd that get on there? Well, it's on the list, so I'd better get it done so I can check it off.

Mid-Year Resolution

Yes, I know I posted like 3 hours ago. I had an epiphany. OK, not an epiphany. I was reading some "Member Lifesavers" over on workitmom.com and one of them was someone's New Year's resolution to keep her kitchen island free of clutter.

Well, it doesn't translate directly because my whole kitchen is roughly the size of most people's kitchen islands, but I would like to keep my dining room table (also used as a dumping ground, craft space, and food prep area) free of clutter. Starting today and lasting until the end of 2010 (and hopefully beyond that). I will get control of that space.

Also, what was that you said about "why are you going to workitmom.com when you have no children?" I like to think it's because I am constantly behind, and listening to the stories of women who have children to care for as well as themselves makes me feel better. Maybe even vice versa? I mean, I live alone and I can't stay on top of my laundry and dishes. How can they expect to when they're also caring for children?

The Good and the Bad

Good: The Commish is now available on Netflix on Demand! I love the Commish! I haven't seen it in about 15 years, so I wonder how it will hold up.

Bad: Yesterday I put on an outfit I hadn't worn in a while (grey skirt, green top) and when I got to work, I realized I looked terrible! There was absolutely nothing attractive about that outfit, but...

Good: I think the reason it looked so bad is because it was TOO BIG. I noticed my coat buttons more easily now, and I think perhaps I am losing weight because...

Good and Bad: I gave up desserts and fast food for Lent. Oy, there have been times when it has been super hard. But, I keep telling myself it's not for very long, and it's really two things I should have done a long time ago. Instead of eating steak McSkillet burritos every morning, I'm eating oatmeal. Instead of getting Taco Bell before (and maybe after, too) work on the weekends, I'm eating things from home, like scrambled eggs and leftovers.

Good: My outfit today is much cuter than my outfit yesterday, and I feel more confident in it.

Bad: I've been having some pretty severe back pain lately, mostly in the middle of the night. I think there are probably several factors contributing to it, but most notably the weight of my purse and the chair I sit slumped in to watch TV. Since I should really be folding laundry and tidying my living room while watching TV, I guess I'll try to make that minor change first. The thing is, I could definitely use a smaller purse. I carry a Coach (fancy lady alert!) messenger bag, which is beautiful, but very, very heavy when empty. And I load it up with my wallet (which probably weighs 10 pounds on its own), various accoutrements, and reading material. I need to work out a better system. One that does NOT involve a rolling bag, as those things are hell to take on the Metro.

Good: I didn't bring my lunch today, but I'm thinking it might be a good day for microwave popcorn and a jaunt outside to buy a piece of fruit.

Services I Love

Well, I just inadvertantly deleted my whole post, so I'll start over. Why, when I cut, did I not just copy and then paste. What a dummy.

So, with my rather wordy rant against Comcast in the Olympics post comments, I thought I should offer a refreshing look at some companies whose services I enjoy and use regularly.

1. Netflix-on-Demand. Holy Lord, do I love this. For starters, no one need know how many times I watch Confessions of a Shopaholic* because there's no return trip to the video store. (Do people still call them video stores?) Also, they have every available season of every Law & Order available for me to watch whenever! And, because I bought a little adapter for my laptop, I can hook up my laptop to my TV and watch things on my big TV screen, from the comfort of my sofa, or I can watch movies in bed. I'll leave it to you to figure out which occurs more often.
   
2. Bank of America's "My Portfolio" service. Do you have Bank of America? Do you use this? It's pretty fun. OK, once you get past the front page showing your depressing low net worth, scoot over to the budgeting and reports section. It's like a wonderland of nerd-dom! You can figure out where all your money goes using adorable multi-colored pie charts. Oh, man, I love pie charts. It's not perfect or anything, but you could easily wile away an hour or so flipping between the different breakdowns. AND you can set budget limits. Unfortunately, when you spend past your budget, Bank of America doesn't like text you to say, "no more restaurants this month, Buttercup. We mean it." So, I guess it's kind of up to you to sort it out.
   
   Oh, on this pie chart, I have cropped the actual dollar figures because I didn't want anyone to have a heart attack when they see how much I'm repaying in student loans every month. Every month. For the next 25, nay, 24 years of my life. My, how time does fly! Also, this isn't really an accurate picture because (a) my rent check isn't reflected here (and I could have sworn I paid the rent this month...no matter) and (b) I went to the grocery and bought expensive things nearly every day of snowmaggedon, so it's reflecting a bigger piece of the pie than groceries usually get.

I guess here is where I say that both of these companies could give a crap that I'm promoting their services. Neither knows I exist, but for the presence of my account number on their rolls of "people from whom to extract money."

*I published once and then realized I forgot to put in the footnote about Confessions of a Shopaholic. I wasn't wowed by this movie, but I doubt anyone was completely blown away. I did enjoy it, though, and it's a reasonable stand-in for many other similar movies that I would watch again and again without having to rent it every time (10 Things I Hate About You, anyone? Anyone?). Also, I have no more room to store DVDs, so purchasing is out of the question.

Boston!

Hooray for Boston!

I just got back from my long-planned trip to Boston with my Ex-Darlin'. And. it. was. fantastic.

I was just looking back through my calendar for the past couple of years and I haven't had an actual vacation in a long, long time. Possibly since...2007? Every spare moment of vacation time I've had has been used to go visit my family in New Orleans, or to have family come visit me. I haven't done anything that was entirely vacation-y in such a long time, I forgot how freakin' awesome it is.

And I loved Boston! It was so lovely! Such a beautiful mix of historic and modern.

Here are the things I did/saw:

Newbury Street in Back Bay, Boston Common, Fenway Park, lunch at the Cask and Flagon, the Freedom Trail, Little Italy (North End), Chinatown, Cheers, swimming in the hotel pool (I was unbelievably excited about this), dinner at Summer Shack, lunch in North End, the USS Constitution, Bunker Hill, and the best freakin' cannoli I've ever tasted from Mike's Pastry.

Maybe I'll upload some pictures. I forgot my digital camera, so I bought a little disposable from CVS. We'll see how it went. I kept forgetting that they don't work quite as well as the digital in terms of taking pictures in low light. I don't know if any of them will come out.

Everyone we met was fantastically nice, too! People stopped us on the street to give us directions.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll go back, if only for the cannoli. Because, seriously--I am considering moving to Boston for that reason alone.

A Fall of Olympic Proportions

Can you believe I hadn't watched a single moment of the Olympics until this morning, when I watched several minutes of video on the NBC website? Turns out there was some pretty exciting stuff going on there.

I watched the men's figure skating videos for Plushenko and Lysacek. Basically, I was like, "meh, that doesn't look so hard. I could probably do that." Plus, I though their landings looked kind of sloppy. This is the Olympics, gentlemen! Stick those landings!

But, oh! Then I watched the, um, bloopers(?) video with all of the falls and spills, and people crashing into gates on the slalom ski slope, slamming into the boards in hockey games, coming out of triple lutzes to land on their butts, and I thought, "oh, maybe this is kind of hard." So, yeah, if you need some perspective on the actual difficulty of the tasks they set out to do, maybe your best bet is to watch the best athletes in their respective countries fall magnificently.

ALSO. How mad would you be if your skating doubles partner fell on the ice, and ruined your chances for a medal? What about the guy you're speed skating AGAINST who trips and crashes into you? I can't imagine how disappointing that must be.

In unrelated news, snowmaggedon prevented me from leaving DC at all to go home for the Super Bowl, so I watched the Saints win at my apartment, by myself. Talk about lacking a party atmosphere. It did give me three days off of work, but had I my druthers, I would have gone home.

There's No Business Like Snow Business

If you're from anywhere north of the Mason-Dixon line (and really, even if you're not), you're probably pretty baffled by the PANIC that is stirring in the nation's capitol. It. Is. Crazy. We're expecting 16 - 23" of snow. Yeah, that's pretty serious. But people are losing it.

Last night, I got off work from Retail Store and decided to hit the grocery before I go home. I figured I might want some cookie dough, cereal, or Tyson's breaded chicken patties (shut up) during my impending snow house arrest. So, yeah. Grocery. 10 p.m. ELEVENTY BILLION PEOPLE. There was no meat! NO. MEAT. People had cleared the shelves! The cooler where the beef usually sits was completely bare. It was like shopping in Soviet Russia. Or at least, how I imagine it was to shop in Soviet Russia. I stood in the express lane for 45 minutes with my 7 items. Every lane was open and the lines stretched to the back of the store. Literally, there were people standing about 8 feet from the back wall of the store, waiting in line to be rung up.

So, people are a little panicky.

I was supposed to fly home to New Orleans Saturday morning, to take in some Mardi Gras action, visit my family, and watch the Superbowl with people who were interested in the outcome. But my flight has been canceled, so I'm going to fly out on Sunday morning. This is not optimal. I am coming back to DC on Monday, so my trip will only be about 24 hours long. Still, I was so excited about this trip, and I won't really have a good opportunity to visit again for the next couple of months, so I really want to go down there.

Growing up, I saw a lot of panic surrounding hurricane preparations: people would flock to grocery stores and Home Depot, scooping up all the bottled water/candles/flashlights/plywood that they could carry. It's kind of strange that, in a situation where the biggest threat is that you'll have to stay in your dry, warm house, people are just as capable of creating chaos.

And now, some very important advice on how to handle snowmaggedon: http://snowpocalypsedc.com/

Why I'll Never Be on a Game Show

This morning, from my strategic position on the Metro, I saw a sign someone had posted in their office window. Each letter was printed on a separate sheet of copier paper and was taped facing outward, presumably for the pleasure of passing Metro passengers. The message was, "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day." How charming.

Anyway, the way the sign was put together made me think of Wheel of Fortune. And that made me think that it would be a little hilarious if you guessed every puzzle as "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day, Pat."

Really, any bizarre answer with no real relation to the puzzle clues would work. Another option: guessing something very close to the answer, but not right. Like, if the puzzle looks like this:

"G_ne _ith the _ind"

You guess "Scarlett O'Hara." Maybe this is only funny to me.

Well, for your trouble, here's a picture of a baby animal. Cute, right?